thestolencaryatid:

passive aggressive family members

"guess i’ll never be a grandma"

"guess i’ll never be an aunt"

"guess i’ll never be able to dress a niece/nephew"

stop feeling so entitled to my hypothetical offspring. it is not yours. it is mine. i will grow it if i grow it. and it will be mine. not yours. i am not an incubator which grants you familial titles. jesus. go away. this “have a baby i can play with” thing is so impersonal and insensitive and annoying.

4 hours ago

spannie:

My new tattoo. Ugh it’s perfection. I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out tbh. 

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

21 hours ago

grumpysalmon:

it’s kinda cool how whenever something happens in australian (or worldwide really) politics there is 100% a pic of the simpsons on my dashboard about it that doesnt even require a caption. i wonder if that has never not happened
"

… its too early for this bullshit.

"
Me, no matter what time it is. (via lastisle)

underthenerdhood:

a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost

21 hours ago

kiransingh:

the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bags despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life

21 hours ago

taco-marco:

king-of-the-casuals:

I’m just gonna let the world figure this out

What does this mean???? Help????
dryadgoddess:

salem-bambi:

the bugs

oh my god this is so beautiful
in-exxhale:

icy-brunette:

lailuna:

I HAVE WAITED MY LIFE TO FIND THIS OMG I CAN’T I JUST CAN’T

so much swag in 3 people

your lying if you say you don’t need this on your blog